


Konoha's Strange (and Possibly Psychotic) New Addition

by kohaku_shi



Series: The Scrap Heap (Naruto Edition) [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Another Insert, Crack, Dimensional Displacement, Dimensional Travel Implied, Entirely Self-Indulgent, Gen, I'd be quite happy for this to be ignored tbh, Mostly Crack to be honest, Original Character Insert, Parody, SI/OC-Insert, This is a Scrap, and really old, really really old
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 07:36:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11939394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kohaku_shi/pseuds/kohaku_shi
Summary: Cross-Post from Fanfiction.net"She stood up, dusting her pants -er, leggings- absently before walking into the nearest patch of wood without another word, leaving an unsure and somewhat shocked team behind to stare after her."Warning: This is even older than the Akatsuki-Insert. So it probably sucks.Naruto, Self/Character-Insert (As-Is/Scrap/Complete)





	Konoha's Strange (and Possibly Psychotic) New Addition

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this on file (or rather, I've had this one file...along with a bunch of other incomplete, scrapped, and/or forgotten typing's) for quiiiite a while now….a few years, in fact. Possibly more.
> 
> Either way, thought I should at least post these for reference if nothing else. Not really planning to continue or finish some of them, after all. A couple more old ones, and then maybe an extra (not quite a chapter) for my Motivation!Verse if I can scrounge up the will to type it. Slightly stuck, but if I do end up continuing it, it'll likely end up as its own story, yay~?
> 
> Anyways, onto the thing.
> 
> Disclaimers: I don't own Naruto. If I had, things would have ended a bit (a lot) differently… Not to mention I am, unfortunately, not male. Nor is my name 'Kishimoto'. Oh well. C'est la vie.
> 
> Warnings: Old plox and crackiness. (No, seriously, I'm pretty sure this is crack.) OC-Insert/SI ish.
> 
> Edited only for grammar and spelling with no Beta. Also, this is one of...quite a few inserts into the Naruto world I have.
> 
> Whelp. You have been warned.

* * *

 

"...s she is awake…?" A strangely familiar, hyperactive and impatient voice was the first thing she noticed. The second? Well, the second was the fact that the world as dark.

...Either that, or her eyes were closed.

She reached a hand up, groaning a bit as she rubbed her eyes, sitting up slowly as she did so.

Yup, her eyes were shut.

She blinked, staring blearily at the blurring world as she ignored the voices of the pinkish-red, orangey-yellow, blue-black, and...green...blue….and, uh…. taller… (tallest?) blob and its counterparts.

"...Who the fuck hit me in the side of the head with a goddamn trix truck…?" She muttered, covering a yawn.

And why the hell was her bed so dusty? She wondered, unaware that she'd spoken aloud as she mumbled, feeling around for her glasses, eyes squeezed nearly shut again as she tried squinting in various ways in an attempt to make things  _focus_.

The clearing was silent as she did so, the sound of her mumbling and the shift of clothing the only sound that permeated the air aside from the call of birds and wildlife as she continued to feel around in hopes of finding her glasses….or something.

Finally, someone broke the surprisingly awkward silence (not that she'd noticed, too busy mumbling and squinting as she tried to find the damn things.

"Uhm...Are you looking for these, by any chance…?" A high, prepubescent (but probably still female) voice asked as the group of colorful blob-things stopped shifting, and the pink-red blob shifted closer, the world becoming clearer to the still tired, sleepy, and not-quite-all-there looking brunette.

"Wai- Sakura-chan, what are you doing-?! She could be an enemy!" The first hyper-active loudmouth directed at the pink….ah, it was a person. Huh. Pink hair… She had  _pink_  hair…

The previously blobby orange….no, wait, orange blob flailed…. hmm, now that she could actually see properly… blond hair… bright orange track suit…. whisker-like scars or birthmarks (whatever they were)... That kinda looked like Naruto….and he was talking to….

Her eyes trailed back to the bright red wearing pink haired girl.

So much more conspicuous than the orange.

_So much more conspicuous…_

Never mind, she thought, deciding not to think about it too much, as she thanked the pink...ette…?

"Ah, thanks…. 'm blind without 'em," she….tried to smile. Was that a smile? She hoped it was a smile…. shaking her sleeve out before rubbing her muddy-brown eyes again.

Actually, now that the sun was showing again, they probably looked more caramel-ish…. nope, just the light., Her irises were dark brown.

Vision returned, she blinked as three kids that looked like they'd stepped out of a manga (quite literally, out of a manga) and a man stared back down at her with….mixed expressions as far as she could tell.

...She was surprisingly calm as she greeted them, though she might later categorize it as shock due to the 'sudden changes'.

"...Hello, Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto, Kakashi…." She nodded, somehow managing to look cool as a cucumber….

….why was it called a cucumber anyways? Those things were just stupid green and lesser imitations of watermelons…..at least those had taste...and cabbages...er...lettuce made good salads among other things.

…. _Cucumbers were a useless fruit-veggie-thing_ ….

Ah, her mind was wandering, she realized, blinking as she found herself staring back into her crossed legs, hands resting loosely in her lap.

"Have any of you, possibly, seen my laptop or my bag?" She continued, quite clearly thinking this was either a dream or a hallucination….probably brought on by the large doses of caffeine she'd had in a short amount of time….a  _very short amount of time_. It was highly likely that all that caffeine she'd been imbibing as of late were causing her to hallucinate about an anime she'd not seen in...a while, now that she thought about it.

She'd gotten pretty far in though, missing only the most recent...eight...ten? chapters, give or take.

Then again, she never did have the greatest attention span, though 400+ chapters later, she was...bound to get bored of it, right? Of course.

….Probably. She hadn't been catching up to anime, either, though it mostly covered portions of the manga...huh. She'd spaced out again.

But anyways, all she knew was that Madara was a prick, Kabuto was obsessed, and- wait, now wasn't the time to think about that, she blinked, watching as the ninja immediately put up their guard.

….Seriously, just how much time passed between her mind's ambling?

"...Who are you and how do you know our names…?" the Kakashi-lookalike asked (or demanded), eyes narrowing as he held a kunai up in what was probably supposed to be a threatening manner...

It just made her want to grab it, though, no matter how much of a bad idea it probably was.

Instead, she gave him a blank look that probably came across as something of an insult….probably that he was an absolute moron as she thought about it. Even if this was a dream -and not a hallucination- it was lucid. Also, hallucinations could sometimes affect the actual body if the brain believed it was real enough, so she decided to play it safe (besides, who knew what could happen if she was hallucinating and reached out….if she was in the kitchen…..lots of pointy things. Lot of  _sharp_  and  _pointy_  things.)...

"You were talking to each other when I woke up," she responded calmly, staring at Kakashi for a moment before deciding to take a look around, taking note as she noticed that Sakura's hair was still long, and Naruto was annoyingly hyper (especially considering she'd just 'woken up' so to speak), Uchiha was an ass (just cuz, she never did like Sasuke)... Kakashi…. Kakashi, on the other hand, was not reading his Icha-Porn.

Huh, how surprising….go figure.

"I told you not to yell so loudly, stupid Naruto!" Sakura….'chided'...as Sasuke snort, Naruto responding with a line that started out more like a whine.

"But Sakura-chan….!"

Kakashi, on the other hand, continued to study her, revealed eye wary, but other showing no other sign of tenseness…

Well, to the kids, anyways.

"Ah, I see… Well then, how about we all  _formally_  introduce ourselves then…?" he asked, tone easy, but clearly fishing for information.

A sudden wave of deja vu washed over her.

She shrugged. Waiting for him to continue. Clearly she was still in shock, she decided, as he spoke.

"We'll even go first," cue eye-smile. Or whatever you wanted to call it.

"I'm Hatake Kakashi, my likes are secret, my dislikes are brats, and I'm a ninja from Konoha," he spoke…..disturbingly sweetly, as he prodded the raven-haired avenger beside him, a familiar orange book already in hand as he attempted to play off his normal reactions...for the kids' sakes, anyway. "Sasuke."

"...Hn…" was all the response he got. "Uchiha Sasuke. No particular likes, I dislike idiots and traitors, and my ambition is to kill a certain traitor," he recited monotonously, as the brunette nodded, even if a bit slowly.

By a psychologist's standpoint….

Sasuke was one messed up kid.

Sakura spoke next, beaming cheerfully. "Hi! I'm Haruno Sakura, but you can just call me Sakura!" she smiled, "I like…" she giggled, "Oh, but I  _hate_ …" she muttered scowling, before moving on, "Ah! But I want to be…" She blushed and giggled again, "I hope we get along!" she exclaimed, clearly thinking that they were fine just because 'sensei' was acting normal again.

If the brunette had one word for the Sakura of now…

Hmm...maybe…. 'idiot'? Obsessed would work just as well… No, wait!

_Fangiiiirrrllllllllll._

Ugh. She twitched, the movement minuscule and nearly unnoticeable as she just stared.

"My turn!" exclaimed Naruto, grinning excitedly as he introduced himself. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto and I'm gonna be the Hokage one day! I like ramen and pranks, but I hate arrogant  _jerk assholes!_ " He shouted, glaring specifically at Sasuke.

Kakashi coughed. "...Right. Now, you?" He asked, turning to the dark haired girl and drawing the others' attention back before an embarrassing skirmish could take place.

"..." She seemed to think about this for a bit, giving the others time to really get a good look at her.

She looked young, possibly their age, though her eyes seemed to say otherwise. And as had been mentioned, her eyes were deep brown, not quite rich, but not quite dark either, even shadowed as they were by her eyelashes and glasses frames. There was depth to them, though, as they displayed varying shades of the color.

Her hair was black -possibly dark brown, as far as the lighting was concerned, messy but straight, falling just below her shoulder, with a slight curl at the ends. As if they wanted to curl, but didn't have the right weight for it.

A lock of the not quite spiky hair fell into the contemplative girl's eyes, as if contemplation were something she did often, though it didn't  _always_  stay that way.

To the ninja, she was strange. Wearing over-sized clothing (not that she noticed, she preferred her clothes that way anyways, so a little more 'bagginess' didn't really feel too different to her). A long sleeved, turtle-necked sweater that was long enough to be a dress on her, falling to her knees where they would have normally only gone just past her hips down to mid-thigh. Her sleeves an entire three hand-lengths or so they estimated from the way they hung from her shoulders.

She also wore leggings that looked more like pants that had been pulled on under her 'dress', though, actually those were jeggings, so they looked like jeans? If Ninja even had jeans.

The only reason they hadn't slipped was probably due to the belt that, where had previously kept her pants high on her waist, now fit snugly around her hips.

Not to mention the shoes she wore, like close-toed and impractically higher-heeled white shinobi sandals… only carrying zippers on the insides.

If they'd asked, she would have said her attire was normal where she'd come from.

But they hadn't, so there was nothing to say aside from the fact that her clothes were strange from a shinobi's standpoint. Even for a civilian.

Of course, in the short time it'd taken them to categorize and take note of these things -even after having used said sleeves to rub her eyes with- she still hadn't noticed the change in clothes or stature. And with the shinobi having never met or seen her before in their lives, there was absolutely no way for  _them_  to have known either.

And so another point for strangeness was chalked up, that would soon be ignored for even stranger things.

The girl nodded to herself, seemingly coming to a decision as she shrugged.

"...You can call me Murasaki Shirei or just Shi," she said at last, choosing the most Japanese name she could that she was likely to answer to. "I've been called a lot of things," she continued, unaware that the way she stated her sentence made the others think that said 'things' were more than likely negative, especially considering her currently deadpan and careless expression (which they'd probably realize was her 'normal' expression later on), "so you can call me pretty much anything and I'll respond," she continued, completely oblivious to the other's reactions, as she continued to speak, a slight frown of thought on her face.

"I like colors, and cats...though I don't really hate any animal in particular…. I hate… I guess I dislike bugs with less than four or more than eight legs, and I  _really_  don't like….SAW…" she said, understating some of her 'dislike', and thoroughly confusing the group as, unlike her, they didn't actually know what 'saw' -or to them, 'saa' she meant.

They didn't exist in the Naruto!verse, after all.

"Hum…. I….am not really sure what I want to be, but for now I'd settle towards being a Psychologist," she finished, nodding as she finally came out of her thoughts, saying the minimal as a courtesy to the group. Well, at least before she saw the look of confusion on their faces, at least.

Right. The closest thing they had to psychologists here were probably the Yamanaka, huh?

"...A psychologist is a person that studies the way a person's mind works, usually their job's to help people," she explained, thinking that it might simply be the fact that they probably didn't actually have a word for psychologist (except maybe 'Yamanaka', but that was different. Kekkei Genkai didn't really count in her mind. Sure it'd help, but…), "Oh, and they're really good at reading people," she nodded. Something that she wasn't quite good at, but she  _was_  working on it, and so was much better than she might've been otherwise.

"Anyways, it's nice to meet you all," she told them before bowing slightly. "Now," she continued, having begun to come to the conclusion that this probably wasn't a hallucination, and not really feeling much towards it being a dream… "if you'll excuse me, I think I'm in shock."

She stood up, dusting her pants -er, leggings- absently before walking into the nearest patch of wood without another word, leaving an unsure and somewhat shocked team behind to stare after her.

"..." No one said a word as she walked off, hit her head against a tree (on purpose), paused (to take a deep breath), and  _screamed_  (or rather, shrieked considering the pitch and the wince it caused quite a few of the team) her lungs out, before walking back out with a bloody forehead and a deadpan expression that she'd rearranged her face into after her little vocal release. Now wearing a more...serene? Normal? Neutral, at least, expression.

"Sorry 'bout that. 'S not good to bottle things up, y'know," she told them, giving the group a bland (blank) smile.

The only thought that was running through their heads, however, was that she was a strange, strange girl, before, once again, wondering just how she'd gotten where she was.

It was still too bad she didn't know that she'd shrunk into somewhat chibi-size, though, or her inner troll wouldn't have been able to resist missing the chance to mess with them all.

Not that she really need to make a conscious effort to do so, of course.

She'd still lament all the missed chances and those that she hadn't quite noticed until they were pointed out, though. Such was the nature of a troll, after all.


End file.
